Life Is A Mystery
by PCJames92
Summary: When Riley Thomas moved to South Park at nine years, old, she never imagined that she would form an unbreakable bond with four unusual boys. Now, starting her junior year, she can no longer deny her feelings for one particular blonde. Throw in a school project, chaotic relationships, and the cult of Cthulu, and this is bound to be one interesting year.


Riley Thomas sighed as she examined her reflection in the mirror. She could hardly believe that it had been seven years since she and her mother had moved to South Park, Colorado. She had come a long way from the nine year old girl who had felt so lost, having to move across the country. Her parents divorce had hit her hard, and when her mother could no longer afford to pay the rent for their New York apartment, she had been forced to take a job in a small town that Riley had never heard of.

Upon arriving in South Park, she had been introduced to a group of boys that, unbeknownst to her, would become her closest friends. The insane things that took place in this town had been nearly impossible to deal with, and when she'd accidentally wound up on a plane to Afghanistan while trying to return a goat, she had formed a bond with the boys that had lasted all these years.

Now, after spending the summer in New York with her dad, she was getting ready for her first day of junior year. Over the last few months, she had miraculously developed curves, her dark brown hair had grown, and she had gotten a dark tan that she never could have hoped for had she spent the summer in South Park.

Her entire life, Riley had never cared about her appearance. When the other girls had started wearing makeup and tight clothes, she had rolled her eyes. She had been far more comfortable wearing her hair in a pony tale and dressing in comfortable sweats. Now, however, things seemed to have changed.

Riley loved her friends more than anything, and that had always been the case. But one of them in particular meant more to her than even she had known. It had always bothered her when Kenny McCormick went off with girl after girl, giving them the kind of attention that he had never given her.

With his messy blonde hair and deep blue eyes, even he knew that he was something to look at. Around the time that he'd stopped hiding under his orange hood, everyone had noticed how handsome he was, and Riley was no exception. But she valued her friendship with him, and couldn't imagine risking it for some temporary passion, however tempting the idea was.

Riley hadn't given her feelings for him much thought until this past summer. During the time she'd spent wandering the city, her thoughts had constantly drifted to him. Eventually, she could no longer deny that she wanted more than friendship with him, but she didn't know what she could possibly do about it.

Now, standing in front of her bathroom mirror, she examined the makeup she'd bought in New York, and sighed. Riley never thought she would do this, but she longed for Kenny to look at her the way he looked at other girls, and that was all the motivation she needed.

She frowned as she applied eye makeup that seemed to make her large green eyes pop, and watched as the mascara transformed her eyelashes, making them long and thick. By the time she was done, Riley barely recognized herself. The girl standing before her, with her hair falling over her shoulders in loose waves, and dressed in a tight green top and jeans, didn't look like the Riley she had always been. But she supposed that people changed, just like her friends had over the years.

A distant part of her wondered how her classmates would react when she saw her, but when she glanced at her phone, she realized that she didn't have time to worry about that. Cartman would be there to pick her up any minute, and she needed to gather her things.

The loud, obnoxious beeping of a horn signaled his arrival. With one last look around to make sure she wasn't forgetting anything, she made her way out the door.

Her mom was still asleep, so she didn't bother saying goodbye. She locked the front door behind her as she headed towards her friends.

"Hey, guys," she greeted them as she slipped into the car next to Kyle.

She didn't miss the shocked expressions on their faces.

"Hey, Riley," said Kyle, who, to his credit, was acting like everything was normal. "How was your summer?"

"Eh," she replied. "It was okay. I missed you guys, though. Life's just not the same when you're not there."

"You didn't miss much," said Stan, turning to look at her from the passenger seat.

Riley couldn't help but smile at that. Appearances aside, her friends really hadn't changed since elementary school. Stan had lost the blue and red hat that he'd always worn, and his black hair fell in his blue eyes. He was undeniably handsome, but had also been with Wendy for as long as Riley had known him. Their relationship was an enigma, but at the end of the day they did seem to love each other, despite the almost constant fighting.

Kyle had always been unable to tame his fiery red curls, and the green ushanka he'd always worn was like his safety blanket. But their freshman year, he'd finally ditched it, and the entire grade had made such a big deal out of it that he'd almost changed his mind.

"I really did miss you guys," said Riley, as she thought about how happy she was to be reunited with her friends.

"We missed you too," they replied, with the exception of Cartman, who Riley prompted by reaching over to the driver's seat and punching him on the shoulder.

"Ow!" he cried. "Jesus, okay, I missed you, you dumb bitch."

Cartman was still Cartman. He wasn't quite as fat now that he'd grown into his body, but he wouldn't be the Cartman she knew and loved if he wasn't a little overweight.

Hardly any of the kids in her grade had a car, and he only had one because he'd thrown a fit on his sixteenth birthday until his mother had agreed to buy one for him. He might have matured physically, but Cartman was still the same selfish, scheming, bigot that Riley had come to know so well.

Not that she wasn't grateful to him for agreeing to drive her, Kenny, Stan and even Kyle to school every day. It was uncharacteristically nice of him, and Riley couldn't help but wonder if he had some sort of ulterior motive. Still, though, it was nice that she didn't have to take the bus.

As she settled into the car, she couldn't help but sneak a glance at Kenny, who was sitting on the other side of Kyle. Riley noticed that he hadn't said much since she'd gotten into the car. Her eyes met his, and she noticed that he was smirking.

"What?" she asked, raising an eyebrow in confusion.

"Damn, Riley," he said. "Since when do you have such a nice rack?"

"Jesus Christ, McCormick." She rolled her eyes. "If Kyle wasn't sitting between us, I'd slap the shit out of you."

He laughed at that, and she grinned back at him. Riley knew that he was probably joking, but still, it was nice to have his attention.

* * *

"You know, you'd think that by now they'd start serving food that's actually edible." Riley frowned as she pushed the mush on her tray around with a plastic fork.

"Well, for two dollars, what do you expect?" Kyle shrugged, hesitantly swallowing the disgusting looking food.

"Yeah." Cartman laughed. "Except Kenny can't even afford this. His family's so poor, huh, you guys?"

At that, everyone rolled their eyes.

"Seriously, Cartman." Stan sighed, as Kenny lazily flipped the fat boy off. "You need to get some new material."

"Really," Riley agreed. "We've been listening to you rip on Kenny for being poor, Kyle for being Jewish, and me for being a girl for the last seven years. It's getting old."

"Well, I call 'em like I see 'em, bitch."

"As do I, fat boy."

"Don't call me fat, you dumb skank!" Cartman shouted.

"Riley's not a skank." Kenny spoke up, startling her, as he easily wrapped an arm over her shoulder. "If she was, we would have done it by now."

She froze. Just like in the car, she knew her friend wasn't serious, but god, she wished he was.

"Like that would ever happen," she forced herself to reply, pushing his arm off her.

All in all, it was a typical lunch. Riley had wondered, during the time she'd been away, if somehow things might change while she was gone. But she found that nothing had. Aside from Kenny's flirtatious comments, everything was just as she'd remembered it.

"Am I a joke to you, Stan?"

Wendy's familiar voice rang out as she suddenly appeared at their table, a murderous expression on her face.

Over the last few years, Riley and Wendy had grown fairly close, given how much time she and Stan spent together. Still, though, Riley knew when not to interfere, and now was one of those times. At this point, Wendy and Stan's bickering was like background noise; she had gotten used to it, and she knew that it was always best to just let it play out.

"What?" Stan asked, looking up from his tray, a confused expression on his face.

"I was just on facebook, and I came across an interesting comment on your profile from Susan Miller."

"Wendy-"

"You are so handsome," she quoted. "I just love the picture."

"What's that supposed to mean?" she snapped. "You're sending girls pictures of yourself now, Stan? Go fuck yourself!"

With that, she stormed off towards her usual table, where she sat with Bebe, Annie, Millie, Jenny, Red and Heidi.

"Susan Miller is my grandma's best friend and she's 90 years old!" Stan called out after her.

"God." He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration as he always did when he was frustrated.

Riley tried to contain her laughter, but a chuckle escaped, and Stan looked over her, his eyes flashing.

"I'm sorry," she said. "It's just that you two have been doing this forever. And honestly, Stan, a 90 year old woman?"

"Oh ha ha." Stan glared. "Let's all laugh at Stan's relationship problems. It's just so amusing."

"Well it is, dude," Kenny chimed in.

"Yeah, and I suppose it was just as funny when Heidi Turner almost broke your nose."

Kenny's grin immediately faded.

"That was different." He mumbled.

Last year, Kenny and Heidi had slept together, and she'd flipped out on him when he'd acted like it was no big deal. Riley vividly remembered the way she'd confronted him in the hallway, and how things had quickly turned violent.

"It was hilarious," Riley said, if only to get a rise out of her friend.

"Shut up," he groaned.

"Oh, come on, Kenny, we all know you had it coming," said Kyle. "All the girls you sleep with and then never give the time of day to. Frankly, I'm surprised it didn't happen sooner."

"Well it's not like I promised her anything." Kenny frowned.

"Are you gonna eat that?" he asked, reaching over and grabbing the untouched mush on Riley's tray.

"It's all yours," she replied.


End file.
